Dyson vacuum cleaners are stupid

Move along, kids, if you aren’t in the mood for a rant. This is a rant.

Dyson vacuum cleaners are just badly designed. There, I said it. I’ve bad-mouthed one of the iconic British inventions of the 1990s.

Nothing is in the right place, apart from the plug which quite correctly is at the end of the power cord. Well done!

People, this is not a design classic. Though it might suck, it only sucks until it gets clogged, Which is shortly after you start.

A Dyson upright looks great when its the shop – pristine, cartoony sci-fi. You use it even once it immediately looks like a piece of dusty crap.
Here are the things that are crappiest about it

  • When you move a Dyson upright vaccuum cleaner, like removing it from the cupboard, chances are bits will fall off – the attachments that are attached like exotic hanging fruits.
  • Looks filthy in real world
  • Gets clogged easily
  • Difficult to clean- ironically, seeing as how easily it falls apart, the bits that you have to get to are inaccessible
  • Emptying it causes a big mess
  • You put it in upright position and it immediately stops sucking out of the end you are cleaning with
  • You have to unwrap the power cord in its entirety if you want to use the hand-held bit
  • The attachments are oddly shaped, and have holes in odd places so you can’t quite get the suck that you need
  • The handle on the handle gets in the way
  • Overcomplicated
  • Expensive
  • Was sold as a British product, something that provided good jobs in Wiltshire, then over the course of the last 6 years manufacturing was  moved almost entirely overseas. ‘Putting resources more effectively in more appropriate areas’, was what was said last year with the making of more redundancies. Hey James Dyson, you ain’t rich enough??

Apparently I am not alone in my dislike of Dysons – There’s a rather desperate review of the Dyson Animal at Ciao.

3 replies on “Dyson vacuum cleaners are stupid”

Ahha, but if you move quickly, you can pre-order the new, upcoming Dyson 3GS! Which will suck just slightly more, have “new” features that have been standard on other machines since the nineties, and will have a whole slew of useless attachments (only ones approved and sold by Dyson, of course)…

(Any similarities to other useless products who’s names end with “3Gs” is purely coincidental. Really. Honestly. Would I lie to you?)


its more like the sidekick. as soon as anyone was given a chance to breath between all the hard sell they realized they were crap.

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